"I'm in charge of the video archive at my college's library. We have old movies and documentaries and stuff like that. It can get pretty slow here, so sometimes I need to distract myself. Usually it's by going on the Internet, but sometimes when it's late and there's no one around, I'll rub one out in the archive room. Since my job isn't very exciting my mind tends to wander a lot, and I start thinking about sex. Then I get horny and I have to do something about it!"
Has anyone ever caught you before?
"I almost got caught once. Actually, I think the guy totally knew what I was doing, but pretended he didn't to save us...